I am ill. The proper kind, not the oh you've got the sniffles kind. I have the high temperature, achey bones and unable to get out of bed for long periods if time kind. Tell you what, I would love to have the sniffles right now, as the thought of me going into work tomorrow morning at 10am is slowly filling me with dread. The thought of the amount of time I have to spend standing on a shop floor, breathing through my mouth and praying it will either get really busy so I'll forget I'm ill or that it will be dead so I can stand and mope undisturbed is not a good thought.

I've had lemsip, of course. I've had paracetemol, of course. I've had every home cure imaginable, and my mother (who is a nurse) does not believe in bothering doctors unless you are actually dying.

Watch this space.